Nine Years and Counting...

I was dating the ultimate bachelor.  He was never going to get married.  We had been dating a year, and I wasn't going to continue down this road we were on.  I had known for years (4) that I was going to marry Mike, and if it didn't happen for us, then I would probably be single forever. 

After a dramatic night (which happened to fall on Whitney's birthday and she'll NEVER let me live it down) Mike and I sat in his car outside the office and he said "ok lets get married" or something along those lines.  We left work a little early that day to go and pick out a ring.  This was Monday the 19th of February 2001.  By Saturday morning we were on a plane to Hawaii to tie the knot.  Just the two of us, at sunset, barefoot in the sand.  I had often dreamt of a wedding like this, but never realized that it could be real. It was the perfect start to our life together. 

We balance each other out.  We don't fight much, and if we do the fights last about 1 minute.  We laugh a lot and laugh at each other.  We talk about everything.  We are friends, partners, and parents.

We never knew we wanted kids.  We both kind of didn't have that in our plan.  But boy do we love our boys.  They have brought so much fun and laughter into our house (they have also brought sleepless nights).  Seeing Mike with our two kids has changed the way I love him.  The roles we have taken on as parents are completely opposite of what I thought they'd be.  I thought he would be the strict mean parent and I would be the fun one.  I WAS WRONG.  Mike is like a little kid with our boys.  Playing games, talking to them, teaching Jake letters and words.  Its amazing to me how having kids can pull this piece of him out I never knew was there. 

Mike is a great husband and the best dad two kids could ever ask for.  Each night as we fall asleep (currently all together) I say a little prayer of thanks for this great family I was blessed with.  I can't believe its been 9 years.  I can't believe the bachelor actually wanted to marry me....

I was told the Friday before we left for Hawaii "if you stalk someone long enough, I guess he'll marry you."  I guess my stalking paid off cause I got the love of my life.

Happy Anniversary Mike, love you.

Perspective

I never knew I wanted a kid until Jake was pulled out of me.  I remember the instant feeling that came over me, that I had to protect this little boy at all times.  The ony thing I could think of was to send Mike into the nursery with Jake.  I didn't want anyone switching my baby for another...and trust me he was cute...someone would have wanted to trade him out!  The love you feel for your child...instantly....it was crazy.

Last weekend we were driving to St. George for a quick visit with Mike's parents.  I jumped into the back seat with the boys for a bit cause Jake was crying.  "I want to hold you" he kept saying.  He was getting tired and wanted to fall alseep, which he usually does with me hugging him.  So I climbed back there with him.  He instantly locked his arm around mine.  Holding hands he started to fall asleep.  I tried to pry myself loose from his arm thinking he was alseep and he grab on so I wouldn't let go.  I sat back wondering how long this would last.  How long will he want to hold my hand?  How long will he climb up onto the back of a chair I'm sitting in to hug me from behind?  How long will he come up and say "I love you mom"? 

We went to Little Gym last night and we ran around on the mat for the first few minutes.  All the kids are running around and being wild and crazy.  Jake ran around holding my hand the whole time.  If he let go to freeze or to jump or something, he grabbed my hand again as we started to run.  I found myself thinking again, how long will this last? 

I loved reading this post about perspective and being in the present.  Because these times won't last forever.  I will have time to live my life for me later.  Right now I need to and want to focus on my kids and be present for them.  The moments and conversations with Jake won't last forever.  Sam's smiling everytime I pick him up and giggling when he's getting dressed will end.  I have to remind myself that I will only get these moments once.  Sam's cute little face when his finishes his bottle, or how he tries to hold it already cause he's so hungry...those moments will be over in a blink of an eye.  I remind myself of this when I'm getting irritated because I want to get my quilt finished.  Or Sam is waking up 2 hours after his last feeding.  These are the moments I'm gonna miss.  Stay focused, stay present.  Keep holding their hands for as long as they'll let me. 

I never knew I wanted these two little ones til they were here.  And now I don't know what I'd do without them.

Menu Mondays

Need to use what I have in the pantry....

Monday - beef stroganoff
Tuesday - chicken over toast
Wednesday - tomato soup and grilled cheese
Thursday - beef stew
Friday - Salmon w/rice

Love Life

I recently purchased this book and I love reading it.  I have read it over and over again in the short 2 weeks I've had it.  This book contains some of the best quotes and life reminders I've ever read.  

Love Life by Dan Zadra, if you have the chance to pick it up, do!

love new things

The firsts go away -

first love, first baby,

first kiss, you have to

create new ones.

-Sarah Jessica Parker

Saturdays Song

American Idol judge Kara GioGuardi and Jason Reeves wrote this song and I love it. 

Terrified

Lala Lala la la
Mmmmmm mmm
You by the light
Is the greatest find
In a world
Full of wrong
Your the thing that's right
Finally made it
Through the lonely
To the other side

You set it again
My hearts in motion
Every word feels
Like a shooting star
I'm at the edge of my emotions
Watching the shadows
Burning in the dark
And I'm in love
And I'm terrifed
For the first time
And the last time
In my only life
Life

This could be good
It's already better than that
And nothings worse
Than knowing your holding back
I could be all that you need
If you let me try

You set it again
My hearts in motion
Every word feels
Like a shooting star
I'm at the edge of my emotions
Watching the shadows
Burning in the dark
And I'm in love
And I'm terrified
For the first time
And the last time
In my only life

I only said it 'cause I mean it
Oh I only mean it
'Couse it's true
So don't you tear
What I've been dreaming
'Couse it keeps me up
And holds me close
Whenever I'm without you

You set it again
My hearts in motions
Every word feels
Like a shooting star
I'm at the edge of my emotions
Watching the shadows
Burning in the dark
And I'm in love
And I'm terrified
For the first time
And the last time
In my only life
Life, life
In my only life

Fast forward to about 2 minutes to hear the song.

Conversations with Jake

Jake: "Grama what should we do next?"
Grama: "I don't know, what do you want to do?"

Jake runs into his room to get a book.

Jake: "I haven't read this book in many years." handing it over to Grama to read.

Who knew Jake had even been a live for many years....I wonder DAILY where he learns these things!

Happy Birthday Whit

Today is my sister Whitney's 28th birthday!  To celebrate her big day I'd like to tell you a few things I love about Whitney.

She is Jake's BFF

Great with both my kids

Generous with her time

Cleans my house

Is our weekend babysitter (helps us stay sane)

Best yoga teacher around

Loves Dr Pepper

Loves Anthro bowls and owns every color

Has a great sense of style

Comes over to craft with me

We can talk on the phone for an hour about our husbands

Comes to help me at a moments notice

Laughing together during yoga class

Bakes the best sugar cookies EVER

Turns embroidery stitching into an art

Is a wonderful wife

Very tender hearted and kind to everyone

She is a great cook and tries new things often

Wonderful with children (especially mine)

Is the best friend I could ever ask for

Happy Birthday Whit, we love you!

Wordless Wednesdays

Menu Mondays

Monday - Chicken Noodle Soup/Rolls
Tuesday - Beef Stroganoff/Salad
Wednesday - Chicken Cordon Bleu/Salad
Thursday - left overs
Friday - probably eat out

Happy Valentines Day

Happy Valentines Day!  Since there is a day devoted to love I thought I'd list a few things I love.

01. Sam's smile
02. Conversations with Jake
03. Laughing with Mike
04. Lunch with Whitney
05. Fabric
06. Late nights sewing
07. Warm summer nights
08. Walks on the beach
09. Watching my kids with their grandparents
10. Bear hugs from Jake
11. Sam trying so hard to hold his bottle he knocks it away
12. Date night
13. Watching a good movie over again
14. McDonalds coke









.

Crazy Old Ladies

There is a contest going on over at Crazy Old Ladies.  Head on over to enter.  She is the designer of some amazing quilts.  The one featured in my Fridays Fabric post is the newest pattern in the line of great patterns.  I am currently working on the pattern Stack of Three out of the line Blush and just last night I started my blocks out of Glace'.  I also cut out a jelly roll to start working on her postage stamp quilt.

Stack of Three

Postage Stamp

What I love most about her quilt patterns is that they are different looking, yet still quick and easy. Makes me feel like I'm accomplishing something!

Head on over and enter her contest. If you win her patterns I'll make ya a quilt out of one of them!

Saturdays Song

I love Pink. Not the color, the singer. She has a new song out that is so unlike all her other songs. Its a ballad. Pink doesn't often do ballads, but she should. Glitter in the Air is a beautiful song with beautiful lyrics. If you haven't heard it yet, check out this video of her performing at the grammys. It was amazing!





Glitter In The Air lyrics
Songwriters: Mann, Billy; Moore, Alecia;

Have you ever fed a lover with just your hands?
Close your eyes and trust it, just trust it
Have you ever thrown a fist full of glitter in the air?
Have you ever looked fear in the face
And said I just don't care?

It's only half past the point of no return
The tip of the iceberg, the sun before the burn
The thunder before lightning, the breath before the phrase
Have you ever felt this way?

Have you ever hated yourself for staring at the phone?
Your whole life waiting on the ring to prove you're not alone
Have you ever been touched so gently you had to cry?
Have you ever invited a stranger to come inside?

It's only half past the point of oblivion
The hourglass on the table, the walk before the run
The breath before the kiss and the fear before the flames
Have you ever felt this way?

La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

There you are, sitting in the garden
Clutching my coffee, calling me sugar
You called me sugar

Have you ever wished for an endless night?
Lassoed the moon and the stars and pulled that rope tight
Have you ever held your breath and asked yourself
Will it ever get better than tonight? Tonight

Fridays Fabric

I think I'm in love. Martinique by 3 Sisters for Moda is in stores now. I love most everything 3 Sisters puts out, but this may be my favorite yet. Go here to get a closer look at the full line of fabrics.

Positive Thinking

Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day. ~Author Unknown

Lately I have struggled with thinking positive each day. I've been tired, feel fat (and can't give up the coke) have no energy, have screaming kids etc etc. The month of December was a little rough for me. I laid in bed at night wondering if I would ever get my life back. Thinking to myself, "is this how its always going to be? Will I ever have time to do something I want to do? Will Mike and I ever leave our house together, alone again?" I was feeling sorry for myself. I knew having kids your life turns around. I know this means there are these two little people who need me for everything. Its just so hard to hold onto yourself during this process. Over the last month, things have gotten easier and easier, and I am seeing the light each day get a little brighter. Don't get me wrong, I love my children. I love being with them. I have just struggled with loosing myself in the process. I have put things in place to make this better (sewing 5 minutes a day, working out etc). Things are looking up.

When you feel dog tired at night, it may be because you've growled all day long. ~Author Unknown

Reading this post today got me thinking. Make a list of all the positive things in your life and then make a list of all the negative things. For most of us the positive list is so much longer, yet we spend more time thinking about the negative short list.

A person will sometimes devote all his life to the development of one part of his body - the wishbone. ~Robert Frost

I was raised by positive thinkers. My mom always taught me to be positive and believe I could do anything. I remember on days when I would get down she would pull me into her lap (even at 16) and tell me not to feel sorry for myself and to be happy. She was also raised this way by Jiggs my grandpa. He was the King at positive thinking. Because of this up bringing, I have learned to let the negative things in life roll off my back. Things happen in life to bring us all down, but I've learned to brush myself off and get back up. Not to let something (especially if its out of my control) ruin my day.

Life is great. Don't let circumstances and society fool you into believing it's not. ~Adabella Radici

Since having children of my own, I find myself pondering my day. Usually my thoughts bring a smile to my face as I think of something Jake said (how does a 2 year old learn all of these things?) I find myself saying a pray of thanks that we are all healthy and happy for the most part (a little tired, but happy). Here is my current positive list.

- Healthy family
- Happy family
- Mike and I both have jobs
- Nanny Grama
- A home we love
- To live in a location with 4 seasons (can't wait for this one to be over!)
- Smart, well rounded children (I can already tell Sam is smart)
- FABRIC and new fabric

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things. ~Robert Brault

What is there to be unhappy about when I have all of those things?

Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful. ~Buddha

Much Accomplished

Last night the kids were in bed, asleep by 8:34. I had a few hours to myself so I decided to take advantage. I am AMAZED at what I got accomplished in such a short amount of time. Goes to show you, if you use your time wisely much can get done.
Here is what I got done...

- Put together, wrapped, and got ready to ship Valentine gifts
- Sewed table topper rows together from the Moda line Sweet (so cute)
- Cut jelly roll of Glace' for a postage stamp quilt
- Cut out Glace' layer cake
- Cut binding for Wonderland quilts (3 of them)
- Sewed together binding for the Wonderland quilts
- Cut binding for a Blush table runner
- Sewed together a backing for a Blush table topper
- Sewed binding on a Blush table topper
- Sewed rows together for my Maison de Noel quilt
- Completed start to finish a Blush baby quilt

I started sewing together leftover layer cake squares out of Blush to make a little baby quilt. I started laying them out at 10:38pm. I told myself I had to complete the quilt by 11pm which is lights out at our house. (Literally, the lights all shut off at 11pm...its a SmartHome thing). I was ironing my last row when the lights went out. I actually completed it, start to finish in 22 minutes!

I'll post pictures soon. Again, its so amazing what can get done when you focus. And the energy I feel is priceless. Especially since I have NO ENERGY these days.

Tonight's goal....workout before hitting the sewing room. I will not let myself in the room if I haven't worked out first!

Siblings

Other things may change us, but we start and end with family. ~Anthony Brandt

After 2 long months, I think Jake is finally getting use to having a baby brother around. He wakes up and asks were baby Sam is if he isn't in bed with him. He still says how cute he is and has even progressed to saying he loves baby Sam. He wants to help me get Sam dressed each day, change him, get him in the tub. Puts his face right up next to him and when Sam swats at him claims Sam is trying to steal his toy or his bink. I have a feeling as Sam gets bigger they just might be the best of friends. Since having 2 children was primarily done for this reason, I am happy to see they are starting to bond.

Watching my two boys also makes me reflect on my relationship with my siblings. I am so grateful that I have a good relationship with them all. My sister Whit is my best friends. We talk daily. We laugh and cry about our husbands. We build each other up. And she loves my children and they love her. She is #1 in Jake's life. He wakes up asking were she is. Remembers everything they do together. He may just have a little crush on her.

I have 3 brothers all who I feel very close to. Sometimes we don't talk often, but the closeness is there no matter time or distance.

Its funny to me how when life happens we pull together. We talk things out. We sometimes fight, but by the end of the day all has been worked out. We don't always agree with one another, but there must be a code in life. The differences don't matter when you're blood. You find a way to love each other with all our differences (and trust me we are all so different). I love picking up the phone and having Nick make a witty comment that makes me laugh. I love that Tyler who never gets involved calls me back over and over again as his phone kept cutting out to get the latest news. I love that Jamey and I can get mad at each other and then end the call laughing.

I am lucky to have this fun dysfunctional at times (but aren't all families) relationship with my siblings. I know I could go to any of them at anytime and they would be there for me and vice verse. My parents raised us to know that family is important. At the end of the day its all you have. I can't wait to see Jake and Sam grow up and be friends. Hopefully from the example they see from me with my brothers and sister they will feel the same way about each other.

Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it
a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.
~JaneHoward

Menu Mondays

Monday - Pulled pork sandwiches
Tuesday - Chicken parmesan
Wednesday - Pizza
Thursday - Tacos
Friday - Beef stroganoff

Defining a Movement

I saw this video on another blog and it really hit home. Right now with the addition of another kid and all the changes that come with it, I've been thinking about motherhood a lot. Its the most wonderful, rewarding, hardest, thankless job in the world. Next to impossible to explain to someone who isn't a mother how it will feel to become one. I think the pressure we put on ourselves as women and mothers is so crazy, yet we all do it and aren't sure how to stop. In the end, this is our job. It's our life. We all just have to learn how to balance it out a little and stay sane.

I know this video was made to promote a blog conference. I'm not posting it for that reason. I thought it was so truthful, uplifting, and beautiful.

Challenge On

Saturday night I was sewing together a table topper. Not sure if I wanted to sell it or give it as a gift. Pondering this important thought as I was putting it together. The more I sewed and starred at the fabric the more I fell in love with it. Its not my normal taste. Its new, hip, a little crazy and I'm in love. So in love that I talked my way into some extra cash from Mike to go get more. I packed up the kids and headed to the fabric store just before they were closing to load up.



Blush from Moda. It's beautiful.

But there was a catch.....because Mike feels I have an addiction he was against a) me buying more fabric and b) me using extra money with his consent to do so.

He gave me a challenge. I have to have my purchases sewn together by Sunday. Everything I bought has to be completed by SUNDAY.... So while at the store I was smart with my buying. Precuts that could easily be put together. If I don't complete this task, the money will be docked from my monthly budget come the 15th....So as you can imagine I will stay up all night if needed on Saturday to get my projects completed!

GAME ON. I'll keep you posted and show some pictures of this gorgeous line when I've finished one or two. Wish me luck!

Love is in the Air

I'm always excited when the Christmas decor comes down and the Valentines decor goes up. This is my second favorite quilt I've ever made. Its a Buggy Barn pattern which the method is a stack and slash, so its crazy and fun. I love the hearts and the fact that it says LOVE throughout a quilt.

I love the month of February because it means we are 1 month closer to spring!!! All in all its a fun month. Valentine's day is just around the corner. I also have my sister in laws birthday and my sisters birthday. It's a fun month to shop for cute decor.

It's also the month of my anniversary. This month will be 9 years! So good things are ahead of us this month.

Happy February everyone!

Simplify

Camille is such an inspiration to me. The mom who has her quilt pattern company, works like mad but has time for her family and fun. Her blog is great and inspiring.

This post in particular has a great quote with a fun picture. (She's also a whiz at photography)

Menu Mondays

I did pretty good last week. I think actually planning out my meals each Sunday and going to the store is helping me actually cook! I'm trying to go for more healthy meals to push me to get some of my weight off. If you have any ideas let me know.

Monday - Fruit and Feta Salad and Orange rolls (thanks Heidi, we love this salad)
Tuesday - Baked Ziti and breadsticks
Wednesday - Quiche
Thursday - leftovers
Friday - Parmesan Chicken, salad, breadsticks