Nine Years and Counting...

I was dating the ultimate bachelor.  He was never going to get married.  We had been dating a year, and I wasn't going to continue down this road we were on.  I had known for years (4) that I was going to marry Mike, and if it didn't happen for us, then I would probably be single forever. 

After a dramatic night (which happened to fall on Whitney's birthday and she'll NEVER let me live it down) Mike and I sat in his car outside the office and he said "ok lets get married" or something along those lines.  We left work a little early that day to go and pick out a ring.  This was Monday the 19th of February 2001.  By Saturday morning we were on a plane to Hawaii to tie the knot.  Just the two of us, at sunset, barefoot in the sand.  I had often dreamt of a wedding like this, but never realized that it could be real. It was the perfect start to our life together. 

We balance each other out.  We don't fight much, and if we do the fights last about 1 minute.  We laugh a lot and laugh at each other.  We talk about everything.  We are friends, partners, and parents.

We never knew we wanted kids.  We both kind of didn't have that in our plan.  But boy do we love our boys.  They have brought so much fun and laughter into our house (they have also brought sleepless nights).  Seeing Mike with our two kids has changed the way I love him.  The roles we have taken on as parents are completely opposite of what I thought they'd be.  I thought he would be the strict mean parent and I would be the fun one.  I WAS WRONG.  Mike is like a little kid with our boys.  Playing games, talking to them, teaching Jake letters and words.  Its amazing to me how having kids can pull this piece of him out I never knew was there. 

Mike is a great husband and the best dad two kids could ever ask for.  Each night as we fall asleep (currently all together) I say a little prayer of thanks for this great family I was blessed with.  I can't believe its been 9 years.  I can't believe the bachelor actually wanted to marry me....

I was told the Friday before we left for Hawaii "if you stalk someone long enough, I guess he'll marry you."  I guess my stalking paid off cause I got the love of my life.

Happy Anniversary Mike, love you.

Perspective

I never knew I wanted a kid until Jake was pulled out of me.  I remember the instant feeling that came over me, that I had to protect this little boy at all times.  The ony thing I could think of was to send Mike into the nursery with Jake.  I didn't want anyone switching my baby for another...and trust me he was cute...someone would have wanted to trade him out!  The love you feel for your child...instantly....it was crazy.

Last weekend we were driving to St. George for a quick visit with Mike's parents.  I jumped into the back seat with the boys for a bit cause Jake was crying.  "I want to hold you" he kept saying.  He was getting tired and wanted to fall alseep, which he usually does with me hugging him.  So I climbed back there with him.  He instantly locked his arm around mine.  Holding hands he started to fall asleep.  I tried to pry myself loose from his arm thinking he was alseep and he grab on so I wouldn't let go.  I sat back wondering how long this would last.  How long will he want to hold my hand?  How long will he climb up onto the back of a chair I'm sitting in to hug me from behind?  How long will he come up and say "I love you mom"? 

We went to Little Gym last night and we ran around on the mat for the first few minutes.  All the kids are running around and being wild and crazy.  Jake ran around holding my hand the whole time.  If he let go to freeze or to jump or something, he grabbed my hand again as we started to run.  I found myself thinking again, how long will this last? 

I loved reading this post about perspective and being in the present.  Because these times won't last forever.  I will have time to live my life for me later.  Right now I need to and want to focus on my kids and be present for them.  The moments and conversations with Jake won't last forever.  Sam's smiling everytime I pick him up and giggling when he's getting dressed will end.  I have to remind myself that I will only get these moments once.  Sam's cute little face when his finishes his bottle, or how he tries to hold it already cause he's so hungry...those moments will be over in a blink of an eye.  I remind myself of this when I'm getting irritated because I want to get my quilt finished.  Or Sam is waking up 2 hours after his last feeding.  These are the moments I'm gonna miss.  Stay focused, stay present.  Keep holding their hands for as long as they'll let me. 

I never knew I wanted these two little ones til they were here.  And now I don't know what I'd do without them.

Menu Mondays

Need to use what I have in the pantry....

Monday - beef stroganoff
Tuesday - chicken over toast
Wednesday - tomato soup and grilled cheese
Thursday - beef stew
Friday - Salmon w/rice

Love Life

I recently purchased this book and I love reading it.  I have read it over and over again in the short 2 weeks I've had it.  This book contains some of the best quotes and life reminders I've ever read.  

Love Life by Dan Zadra, if you have the chance to pick it up, do!

love new things

The firsts go away -

first love, first baby,

first kiss, you have to

create new ones.

-Sarah Jessica Parker

Saturdays Song

American Idol judge Kara GioGuardi and Jason Reeves wrote this song and I love it. 

Terrified

Lala Lala la la
Mmmmmm mmm
You by the light
Is the greatest find
In a world
Full of wrong
Your the thing that's right
Finally made it
Through the lonely
To the other side

You set it again
My hearts in motion
Every word feels
Like a shooting star
I'm at the edge of my emotions
Watching the shadows
Burning in the dark
And I'm in love
And I'm terrifed
For the first time
And the last time
In my only life
Life

This could be good
It's already better than that
And nothings worse
Than knowing your holding back
I could be all that you need
If you let me try

You set it again
My hearts in motion
Every word feels
Like a shooting star
I'm at the edge of my emotions
Watching the shadows
Burning in the dark
And I'm in love
And I'm terrified
For the first time
And the last time
In my only life

I only said it 'cause I mean it
Oh I only mean it
'Couse it's true
So don't you tear
What I've been dreaming
'Couse it keeps me up
And holds me close
Whenever I'm without you

You set it again
My hearts in motions
Every word feels
Like a shooting star
I'm at the edge of my emotions
Watching the shadows
Burning in the dark
And I'm in love
And I'm terrified
For the first time
And the last time
In my only life
Life, life
In my only life

Fast forward to about 2 minutes to hear the song.

Conversations with Jake

Jake: "Grama what should we do next?"
Grama: "I don't know, what do you want to do?"

Jake runs into his room to get a book.

Jake: "I haven't read this book in many years." handing it over to Grama to read.

Who knew Jake had even been a live for many years....I wonder DAILY where he learns these things!

Happy Birthday Whit

Today is my sister Whitney's 28th birthday!  To celebrate her big day I'd like to tell you a few things I love about Whitney.

She is Jake's BFF

Great with both my kids

Generous with her time

Cleans my house

Is our weekend babysitter (helps us stay sane)

Best yoga teacher around

Loves Dr Pepper

Loves Anthro bowls and owns every color

Has a great sense of style

Comes over to craft with me

We can talk on the phone for an hour about our husbands

Comes to help me at a moments notice

Laughing together during yoga class

Bakes the best sugar cookies EVER

Turns embroidery stitching into an art

Is a wonderful wife

Very tender hearted and kind to everyone

She is a great cook and tries new things often

Wonderful with children (especially mine)

Is the best friend I could ever ask for

Happy Birthday Whit, we love you!